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How to Know if You Have an Unhealthy iPhone Addiction

Monday morning. The alarm on your iPhone goes off. You drag yourself out of bed to hit snooze and you bring your iPhone back to bed with you. You check your email, Facebook, Twitter, read the news – all on your iPhone. Your iPhone alarm sounds again and you go into the bathroom with your iPhone. You go to work, checking your iPhone the whole way there. You arrive at work and find yourself looking at your iPhone in your lap, reading your work emails on your iPhone, even though you’re sitting in front of your work computer. The people at work think there’s something wrong with your digestive system because you spend so much time in the bathroom… and you’re not going to correct them. It’s a great excuse to be in there on your iPhone!

Sound familiar? Then it sounds like you might just be addicted to your iPhone. Here are some telltale signs of a full-blown iPhone addiction:

Life without emojis is emoji

You find your emotions and facial expressions are increasingly confined to what can be expressed in emojis. If there’s no emoji for it, does it even count? For example, giraffes. Do giraffes even still exist? You’re not sure.

Bad break up? There’s an app for that

Anytime you’re faced with a problem in life, your instant response is “there must be an app for that”, because, well, there must be, right? iPhones are the solution to all of life’s problems. We’ve all known that to be indisputably true ever since Uber and Seamless arrived.

Tbh you’ve started saying lol irl

You’re not sure if it’s faster but you know it feels right to abbrev in ur daily life. Sure, you sound a little like a teenager, but you’re living your truest life. This is just how I express myself now, Mom!

Airplane mode is your mortal enemy

No Wi-Fi until cruising altitude? What am I, an animal? Why would you do this to me, JetBlue???

You made Siri call you “Best Friend”, and you call her your bff right back

You no longer have any relationships that require in-person contact. If you do go out to dinner, you end up communicating via iPhone with the people you’re there with. Siri’s the only one you speak to out loud anymore. Plus, she knows so many of your secrets…

Your TV is your other friend but you’re not really speaking

You don’t watch TV so much as keep it company while it plays TV shows and you look at your iPhone.

Your iPhone is your creative outlet

You have a number of ideas for art projects that you can make on your iPhone (it’s a webseries on Instagram! It’s an emoji painting!), if only they would accept grant applications typed in your Notes app.

You have experienced iPhone withdrawal

If you hear your iPhone ding, you can think of nothing else until you’ve checked it. The last time your battery died while you were out in the world without a charger, you just went home. The idea of leaving your iPhone at home for a day makes you break into a cold sweat. You once actually left it behind and you spent the whole day vomiting.

Death is no obstacle

You’ve almost died because you were looking at your iPhone on a number of occasions – crossing the street, driving, walking through a shoot-out, wandering into a Hell’s Angels Clubhouse, etc. But hey, as long as they have Apple products in purgatory, you’ll be fine.

 

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